As the graduates march up one by one to be given their few seconds of recognition and their diploma, I stand in the shade of a tree at the back of the crowd. We are here to honor a few of them, talented and accomplished people. The sun is shining, the mood is light, and looking around I see many people from my past and present mingling in the crowd.
I am proud of these graduates, some that I know are receiving undergraduate degrees and others, their masters. It is a day of great celebration.
Suddenly I am hit with a cloud, a feeling I struggle with often to dispel: unaccomplished. Inferior. Incomplete. I am 30, after all, and have managed to avoid any kind of degree. Not that I've never started anything, and I'm fairly certain I have enough credits to be very close.
This time of the year brings out the worst in this feeling, but it is always there in the back of my mind. Occasionally it rears its ugly head, and I have to fight to push it back down. Now is one of those times.
As I look around, I fix my eyes on my family standing next to me. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful baby girl. For now, this is enough to fight the feelings of inadequacy. For now, I can feel a small sense of the large accomplishment that comes with my family and the people that love me. For now, I can join in the celebration of the accomplishments of those I love who are graduating here today. And for now, it is enough.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Appreciation
As I've been posting my experiences and some trials on my blog and of facebook, I have received so much support and encouragement. I have read other moms blogs who don't share this experience, and it makes me sad. All moms, especially new moms, need to feel supported and loved so that they can pass that on to their children.
I have found that the joys of motherhood are often matched in number by the trials of motherhood. And we need a network of people who will share both the joys and the trials. Sometimes it is hard for new moms, and I speak mostly for myself, to seek help when things aren't going the way they should. I tend to want to put on a happy face and make everyone believe that all is well. Most of the time I can manage this, because there are so many happy times. But as other mothers can attest, there are times when things aren't going so smoothly. These are times when my first response is to tough it out and not let outsiders (or even my husband, sometimes) see that something might be wrong.
Recently I have been documenting some of these times on this blog, most notably the breastfeeding issues, and I have received so many words of encouragement that I am very humbled. I also have been included in a mom's group on facebook, and I am very grateful for the non-judgmental attitude I have found among those women.
I can't say that I've never received any condescending words or comments, and I'm not naive enough to think that I won't ever receive them again. But I praise God for a group of wonderful friends and family who have been overwhelmingly supportive, and are encouraging me through some trials and sharing in my joys as well. I pray that other moms will have this same kind of network of support to help them through the most challenging and rewarding time of their lives.
I will close by saying THANK YOU to all of you!
I have found that the joys of motherhood are often matched in number by the trials of motherhood. And we need a network of people who will share both the joys and the trials. Sometimes it is hard for new moms, and I speak mostly for myself, to seek help when things aren't going the way they should. I tend to want to put on a happy face and make everyone believe that all is well. Most of the time I can manage this, because there are so many happy times. But as other mothers can attest, there are times when things aren't going so smoothly. These are times when my first response is to tough it out and not let outsiders (or even my husband, sometimes) see that something might be wrong.
Recently I have been documenting some of these times on this blog, most notably the breastfeeding issues, and I have received so many words of encouragement that I am very humbled. I also have been included in a mom's group on facebook, and I am very grateful for the non-judgmental attitude I have found among those women.
I can't say that I've never received any condescending words or comments, and I'm not naive enough to think that I won't ever receive them again. But I praise God for a group of wonderful friends and family who have been overwhelmingly supportive, and are encouraging me through some trials and sharing in my joys as well. I pray that other moms will have this same kind of network of support to help them through the most challenging and rewarding time of their lives.
I will close by saying THANK YOU to all of you!
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