Cradle Roll moms and spiritual growth

Lately I have been contemplating a question that I still haven't come up with an answer for:  How do cradle roll moms (and dads and grandparents) develop their spiritual growth?  As we sit and listen to the spiritual milk being fed to our children, we are longing for the connection and maturity that comes through studying the meat of the Word with other adults.

Of course, I try to make time for personal Bible study and prayer.  But I also realize there is strength in group connections and study, which is something we don't get in Cradle Roll.  And with our week already busy, I hesitate to add one more evening activity that takes away from family time.

I am curious if any of my readers has helpful hints or creative ideas that you've used or things you enjoy to help build your own spiritual growth?

When the Good turns Bad

Once upon a time, I had a baby girl who slept wonderfully at night.  She would wake up only one time all night to eat.  I want her back.  

It started approximately six weeks ago, for no reason that I can tell.  One night she was sleeping almost all night, and the next she wouldn't go down for the night and wouldn't stay asleep once she did.  For a few nights, we blamed it on teething, and hoped it would end soon.  Six weeks later, it is still happening.  

Since this started, we have transitioned her to her crib in her own room.  She has gotten used to the bedtime routine and now goes to bed easily, but that's where the improvement ends.  In fact, last night she woke up twice in the two and a half hours after going to bed.  And then every two hours after that, all night long.  This is how it goes, night after night after night.  

It seemed that she slept better on days that she did not receive solid foods to eat.  So we quit giving them to her, since she doesn't necessarily need them yet.  It didn't work.  I started feeding her again once a night.  It didn't work.  I'm running out of options, and so far none of them are working.  

Every night we pray for her (and us) to be able to sleep all through the night.  One of these nights it is bound to happen, right?  How can we teach her to stay asleep?  Where is my good sleeper?  If you find her, please return her to me.  

A Whole Lot of Nothin'

You may be wondering where I've been for the past couple weeks, or you may not have noticed that I haven't written anything.  It doesn't matter, either way, because I just haven't been able to think of anything remotely interesting to say.  Maybe I've been a little uninspired.  Or just unmotivated (as the condition of my house would suggest).  That could be why I haven't thought of anything to say.  Things have been happening, but it just doesn't seem important enough for me to write about.  Even as I write, I don't have anything interesting to say.  So instead, this time, I thought I would try something new.  I am going to write about some products that may (or may not) have made my life as a mother easier.  I will link to them in Amazon so that if you decide you'd like to try them, you can find them easily... and if you do, I can earn a little money.  That isn't the point here, but I thought I'd give it a try anyway, because I have nothing else on my mind.

The first is the pacifier strap ( http://amzn.to/px8aUd ).  I had told someone I would write about this, and am just now getting around to it.  This may sound very simple, but it is a really good thing to have.  A couple weeks ago in church, Coryell spit her pacifier out, and it rolled two pews up.  This strap would have saved us the trouble of asking someone in the packed church to rescue it for us.  I also use it in her stroller, I clip it to the side of the stroller and it is there whenever she needs it.  I never have to search for it.  The drawback?  She sucks on it, and often spits up on it.  But it's washable, and the slobber she gets on it doesn't bother me.

The next thing I'd like to mention is the Woombie ( http://amzn.to/piXGzw ).  I thought this was a WONDERFUL idea, so easy to put on, and it imitates the womb.  And it's true, it is very easy to use.  I can't say if it is any better than the Miracle Blanket ( http://amzn.to/ozVLkv ) that we were previously using which she outgrew, but it is easier to put on her.  She started having problems falling asleep and staying asleep just after we switched, but I don't think the swaddle is to blame.  I believe it is just this age, and teething, which caused the problems.  So I do think I can still recommend this product.  (Both of these swaddlers mentioned work well for us.)  If you decide to buy a Woombie, beware of the labels.  I bought one that said 6-9 months... it was for a baby who is 20-25 lbs.  Who has a 6-9 month-old that big?  I had to send it back and get a smaller one.  Just my word of caution.

Now, I just have to mention my cloth diapers:  BumGenius 4.0 ( http://amzn.to/opUYtn ).  I love them, and I'm completely convinced I made the right choice by going cloth.  Virtually NO blowouts, which we got lots of with disposables.  I'm very happy with them.  Of course, I wish I had known about the cheaper SunBaby (sunbabydiapers.com), but even so I am saving lots of diaper money, and they can be used for the next child as well.  What a blessing they are, and I even still look forward to diaper laundry day, because it is somehow rewarding.

OK folks, I think that's all I'm going to do today.  Hopefully next time I decide to jump on here, I'll have something more meaningful to talk about.  I need a little inspiration!  Thanks for humoring me, and stay tuned for something better next time.

Accomplishment

As the graduates march up one by one to be given their few seconds of recognition and their diploma, I stand in the shade of a tree at the back of the crowd.  We are here to honor a few of them, talented and accomplished people.  The sun is shining, the mood is light, and looking around I see many people from my past and present mingling in the crowd.

I am proud of these graduates, some that I know are receiving undergraduate degrees and others, their masters.  It is a day of great celebration.

Suddenly I am hit with a cloud, a feeling I struggle with often to dispel:  unaccomplished.  Inferior.  Incomplete.  I am 30, after all, and have managed to avoid any kind of degree.  Not that I've never started anything, and I'm fairly certain I have enough credits to be very close.

This time of the year brings out the worst in this feeling, but it is always there in the back of my mind.  Occasionally it rears its ugly head, and I have to fight to push it back down.  Now is one of those times.

As I look around, I fix my eyes on my family standing next to me.  I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful baby girl.  For now, this is enough to fight the feelings of inadequacy.  For now, I can feel a small sense of the large accomplishment that comes with my family and the people that love me.  For now, I can join in the celebration of the accomplishments of those I love who are graduating here today.  And for now, it is enough.

Appreciation

As I've been posting my experiences and some trials on my blog and of facebook, I have received so much support and encouragement.  I have read other moms blogs who don't share this experience, and it makes me sad.  All moms, especially new moms, need to feel supported and loved so that they can pass that on to their children.

I have found that the joys of motherhood are often matched in number by the trials of motherhood.  And we need a network of people who will share both the joys and the trials.  Sometimes it is hard for new moms, and I speak mostly for myself, to seek help when things aren't going the way they should.  I tend to want to put on a happy face and make everyone believe that all is well.  Most of the time I can manage this, because there are so many happy times.  But as other mothers can attest, there are times when things aren't going so smoothly.  These are times when my first response is to tough it out and not let outsiders (or even my husband, sometimes) see that something might be wrong.

Recently I have been documenting some of these times on this blog, most notably the breastfeeding issues, and I have received so many words of encouragement that I am very humbled.  I also have been included in a mom's group on facebook, and I am very grateful for the non-judgmental attitude I have found among those women.

I can't say that I've never received any condescending words or comments, and I'm not naive enough to think that I won't ever receive them again.  But I praise God for a group of wonderful friends and family who have been overwhelmingly supportive, and are encouraging me through some trials and sharing in my joys as well.  I pray that other moms will have this same kind of network of support to help them through the most challenging and rewarding time of their lives.

I will close by saying THANK YOU to all of you!

Control

As newlyweds, my husband and I were given a DVD called "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" by Mark Gunger.  In it, he describes the four "countries" that people come from, as far as their personality is concerned.  These "countries"of Fun, Perfect, Control, and Peace help to determine your personality compatibility.

Not surprisingly, after taking the test, my primary country was determined to be Peace.  But Peace is not what I want to talk about today.  The part that some people would find surprising is my secondary country:  Control.

I will admit, I'm not terribly astounded at this revelation, as my husband was.  As I examine myself, I see more and more truth in this "country", and though it is not a new characteristic, I can see it more clearly now.

The reason people don't see me as 'controlling' is probably because of my primary "country".  To keep the "Peace", I don't express my feelings about the things that I feel are out of control.  And sometimes, I do believe I become more crazy about it by the day because of that.  Sound like a bad combination?  I think so.

It sure makes it hard to sit back and let people help me, even my husband sometimes, because I cannot be sure that it will be done 'my way'.  I have discovered, however, that I have to let other people do things, because now I have a baby to take care of, and I'm no super-mom.  I struggle to keep my daughter happy, and sometimes that comes at the expense of a clean house or other chores.  If I were to insist that everyone do things my way, they would eventually quit trying.

And so I have had to learn to at least try to let go of 'my way' and my control, and to appreciate what other people are willing to do for me.  I have come a long way, but I do confess that I still have a long way to go on this journey.  Be patient with me, cause "He's still workin' on me".

Discoveries

It is strange how some discoveries are days, weeks, or even longer, in the making.  A conversation that I had today brought home a discovery about myself and my personality that I have been toying with for several years of my adult life.

As a child, I lived under the shadow of my older sister.  She was, and still is, a very outgoing person.  As the second child, coming after an outgoing and talkative sister, I was content to let her talk and I was certainly not as outgoing as she was.  I was much quieter, and I kept things to myself most of the time.  

With this background, it should come as no surprise that I was pegged as "shy".  And I probably was shy, to some extent, but as I grew older I felt I was growing out of the shyness.  But I continued being labeled as shy because I never became as outgoing as my sister.  At least this is the reason I attribute to the label.  I don't blame anyone for this label, I was certainly the quieter sister, and I preferred it that way.  But I do wonder if a label such as shy, outgoing, or hyper can become a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy.  Did I remain quite or shy because I always heard that's what I was?  

As an adult, I have thought about this a lot.  Sometimes I am confused, because I enjoy the company of others so much, and I don't feel shy or awkward in social settings.  But shouldn't I feel that way, if I am truly shy?  

It occurred to me today that I am a very social person.  I may be quiet, and I'm certainly still not as outgoing as my sister is, but I no longer believe that is the definition of shy.  

This discovery probably won't make any difference in the way I live my life, after all, I'm already participating is social situations as much as I can.  But it does make me wonder, how can I keep from placing labels on my daughter so that her character can develop at her own pace?  And how can I use my own experience and this discovery to encourage her development?  Can I keep from comparing her to other children, and just let her be who she is going to be?  

I pray that I can do just that, and I am eagerly looking forward to the beautiful person she is growing into.