As a child, I lived under the shadow of my older sister. She was, and still is, a very outgoing person. As the second child, coming after an outgoing and talkative sister, I was content to let her talk and I was certainly not as outgoing as she was. I was much quieter, and I kept things to myself most of the time.
With this background, it should come as no surprise that I was pegged as "shy". And I probably was shy, to some extent, but as I grew older I felt I was growing out of the shyness. But I continued being labeled as shy because I never became as outgoing as my sister. At least this is the reason I attribute to the label. I don't blame anyone for this label, I was certainly the quieter sister, and I preferred it that way. But I do wonder if a label such as shy, outgoing, or hyper can become a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. Did I remain quite or shy because I always heard that's what I was?
As an adult, I have thought about this a lot. Sometimes I am confused, because I enjoy the company of others so much, and I don't feel shy or awkward in social settings. But shouldn't I feel that way, if I am truly shy?
It occurred to me today that I am a very social person. I may be quiet, and I'm certainly still not as outgoing as my sister is, but I no longer believe that is the definition of shy.
This discovery probably won't make any difference in the way I live my life, after all, I'm already participating is social situations as much as I can. But it does make me wonder, how can I keep from placing labels on my daughter so that her character can develop at her own pace? And how can I use my own experience and this discovery to encourage her development? Can I keep from comparing her to other children, and just let her be who she is going to be?
I pray that I can do just that, and I am eagerly looking forward to the beautiful person she is growing into.
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