Control

As newlyweds, my husband and I were given a DVD called "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" by Mark Gunger.  In it, he describes the four "countries" that people come from, as far as their personality is concerned.  These "countries"of Fun, Perfect, Control, and Peace help to determine your personality compatibility.

Not surprisingly, after taking the test, my primary country was determined to be Peace.  But Peace is not what I want to talk about today.  The part that some people would find surprising is my secondary country:  Control.

I will admit, I'm not terribly astounded at this revelation, as my husband was.  As I examine myself, I see more and more truth in this "country", and though it is not a new characteristic, I can see it more clearly now.

The reason people don't see me as 'controlling' is probably because of my primary "country".  To keep the "Peace", I don't express my feelings about the things that I feel are out of control.  And sometimes, I do believe I become more crazy about it by the day because of that.  Sound like a bad combination?  I think so.

It sure makes it hard to sit back and let people help me, even my husband sometimes, because I cannot be sure that it will be done 'my way'.  I have discovered, however, that I have to let other people do things, because now I have a baby to take care of, and I'm no super-mom.  I struggle to keep my daughter happy, and sometimes that comes at the expense of a clean house or other chores.  If I were to insist that everyone do things my way, they would eventually quit trying.

And so I have had to learn to at least try to let go of 'my way' and my control, and to appreciate what other people are willing to do for me.  I have come a long way, but I do confess that I still have a long way to go on this journey.  Be patient with me, cause "He's still workin' on me".